Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sunday Morning Meltdown

We thought about doing an April Fools edition, but after reading the latest post on Marc Maron's Morning Seditionist blog we decided to stick to the hard news. Since we slept in this morning we missed the Sunday morning TV talk shows. Fortunately Maron updated us on what happened.

On Press the Meat, the Potaoheaded one hosts Pat Leahy, who will hopefully choke the shit out of Gonzo apologist, Orrin “down the” Hatch. Also, Charlie Rangel will be on to hawk his new book.
Meanwhile, it’s more Gonzo and a little bit of Iraq over at CBS, as Bush buddy Bobby Schieffer hosts Chucky Schumer and Arlen “all talk” Specter, plus Bush “Counselor,” Dan Bartlett.
Over at Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace hosts Mitch “the prick” McConnell and Senator MBNA, Joe Biden. The topic? Will our brave president be allowed to give our soldiers
what they need to fight his glorious war, or will the godless Democrats be allowed to starve them to death, by insisting on a non-binding timetable to pulling out of this mess?
On the Goebbels network, it’s more Dan Bartlett, this time on with Dick Durbin to talk some more Gonzo, and a little Iraq. Then, for reasons know only to Mickey and Goofy, its’ freakin’ Tommy Thompson, on to pretend he’s got something relevant to say, and to talk about his presidential aspirations (lotsa luck,Tommy; just what the Republicans need, another loser in the race). Then, at the Roundtable, it’s Fareed “token” Zakaria, graduate of the NPR school of hackery, Martha Raddatz, and George Will. And then Cal Ripken apparently has a book to hawk, too. To quote Archie Bunker, “whoopdie-doo, whoopdie-doo, whoopdie-doo.”
Over at CNN, the only people that look interesting from Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission are Mick Ware and Al Sharpton.
Later, on 60 Minutes, Steve Kroft reports on how the pharmaceutical industry lobby bought off Congress to foist the despicable Medicare prescription drug law on us (better late than never, eh, Steve?), Lesley Stahl does a story on whether, if crime scene DNA is matches a suspect so closely that the odds are the perpetrator is in the suspect’s family, the cops be allowed to investigate family members (would the answer be, “duh?”), and Scott Pelley breaks a big story: Global Warming is real! Who knew?
Now, get out there and fool at least some of the people some of the time today.


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